Holding You
by aslycsi1315
Summary: While dealing with a potentially deadly case, Kensi struggles in dealing with her partner's change in behavior.


_Three nuclear weapons are missing._

Kensi repeats the words through her head over and over as she stands in living room. She can't seem to move from the spot that she had been standing in for the past hour. It's a bright beautiful Tuesday morning, which in all honesty Kensi has barely noticed. She had woken after a sleepless night, showered, and ate in such a haze as she tried to wrap her mind around the fact that at any moment, one of three missing Soviet weapons could detonate and annihilate Los Angeles.

Or Chicago.

Or New York.

Kensi pulls her hair back into a ponytail at the queasiness that in her stomach. She doesn't know how the team's supposed to focus on any other case that could come across while those weapons are missing. She wants nothing more to do some of things she hasn't had the chance to do in case things do head south.

_Ding. _

It's Deeks, who has arrived at her house to ride together to work. Driving her silver SUV has become so routine in their work lives that the detective now drives to work only if he oversleeps, which is pretty much every day. Kensi opens the front door to find Deeks in shades and a light gray sweater- her favorite sweater on him. He pulls off his shades and grins, "Morning, Fern."

For less than a second, her heart stops at the sight of blue-green eyes in the sunlight. It reminds her of the one thing that she would do if the world was to end- Tell her partner that she's in love with him. Kensi can't help but wonder if it's the threat of nuclear attack that's making her feel this way or if she's sick and tired of the games that they've been playing for years. Kensi hasn't been able to make herself say those three little twisted, make-or-break words that could change everything between them- _I love you._

"Kens? Kensi?"

Kensi blinks and recovers quickly by joking, " I was just momentarily fazed by you actually waking up on time." She can't tell the truth- no, Kensi Marie Blye will not have her heart broken like it was when Jack left.

"I'm ok," Kensi laughs, " Let's get going."

**Highway 37**

Instead of a 20 minute trip to get to work, Kensi and Deeks are stuck in the SUV, 10 miles from work. A massive traffic jam has extended their trip by almost an hour and according to overpass signs, leaving them with a 35 minute trip between their location and work. Deeks has spent the last twenty minutes doing something that is making Bad Ass Blye damn near tremble in her seat.

He's holding her hand.

Deeks has placed his hand onto hers right before pushing the passenger seat back and daze off into space. The detective had given her no warning at all- when the SUV came to a complete stop, Deeks simply placed his hand on hers without a word. Every few minutes, Deeks gently caresses his finger over a few of his finger, which makes Kensi's heart jump. She's been spending the last 20 minutes, sitting petrified, not sure what to do or say.

_I have to say something. I have to say that I-_

Kensi's thoughts are interrupted by a ring from Deeks' tablet. The detective sits up and moves his hand away. Kensi opens her mouth and closes it quickly when Deeks hits _Answer_. It's OPS and the partners can see Hetty, Callen, Sam, and Eric standing throughout the OPS center.

"Where's Nell?" Deeks asks. Kensi is still so shell shocked from Deeks moving his hand away that she hadn't noticed that the confident little intelligence analyst is missing.

"Stuck in traffic like you," Eric replies. He's leaning back in his computer chair in one of the most relaxed poses that the partners has seen him in. It isn't the weirdest thing that Eric is doing; the man isn't in his usual shorts and fun shirt, he's in a suit.

"Looking good, Eric," Deeks laugh. "Got a hot date?"

Hetty steps in front of Eric. " Mr. Beale is dressed for our latest mission. There's been an assassination threat against a prominent British Navy commander, who's here in the States to oversee our new joint training camp in Northern Los Angeles."

Deeks cocks his head in confusion. " We have a joint training camp?"

Kensi knows that Deeks should have known this when Granger had spoken to the team a month ago about British Navy officials that would be walking in and out of the OPS center. Unfortunately, Deeks has a habit of momentarily forgetting certain things when it's stated to him, but magically remembering them at the weirdest times.

Hetty narrows her eyes at him, which leads to Deeks looking up and wracking his brain. When a light bulb finally goes off, Deeks grins and laughs, " Oh, yeah…continue."

"As I was saying before Mr. Deeks interrupted me, we are being tasked to be military eyes and ears at a honoree banquet at 1 today honoring veterans of both countries at the Holland Gala Centre. Each one of you will be mixing among the attendees to keep an eye for any bits of suspicion. Mr. Beale has told me that you both are quite close to the Centre. As soon as possible, I need you to get off the highway and head to the Centre immediately."

Kensi nods as she's taking in the information. She's more relaxed than she was early, but hasn't forgotten Deeks' actions from earlier.

"Are we going in covert or overt?" Deeks asks in seriousness.

" Covert. I've sent an email to your phones describing your covers. Also in anticipation of this case, I've placed a black bag in the truck with two Navy uniforms for the party. Good luck."

And just like that, the video feed is ended. Deeks is already climbing into the backseat looking for the black bag. When he finds it, Kensi hears him exclaim, " Found it! I didn't know Hetty has keys to your SUV!"

"She doesn't. At least I don't think she does," Kensi replies. As he slides back into the seat, Kensi feels her heart rate sky rocket again when she sees that he's now donning a dark blue Navy hat with his eyes sparkling with glee.

"How do I look?" Deeks asks.

Kensi inhales deeply, mustering all of her strength not to lean over and kiss him. " You look handsome."

**Holland Gala Centre**

Kensi and Deeks walks into the Centre, both donning the navy garb Hetty had given them. Deeks' appearance draws attention from two female officers standing in the foyer. When one winks at the detective, Deeks gives them a nod. Kensi chews the inside of her cheek, her mind drifting off to her Sig strapped under her jacket.

_Don't shoot them. He isn't officially yours. _Kensi pulls Deeks over to the side and tells him, " Focus on the mission, Romeo."

"Don't worry, Fern," Deeks laughs. He leans close and whispers in her ear, "When the day is said and done, I'm all yours."

"Speaking off being _all mine_, when this is done, we need to talk," Kensi states through gritted teeth. She fakes a smile at the doorman as both step into the ballroom. She doesn't wait to see if Deeks will come after her; she only starts to intermingle with others as if she isn't a confused woman, who doesn't know if she's officially with someone or not.

An hour passes before Kensi decides to step away from the party. Nothing unusual happens which is good on all accounts. Both the detective and agent spent the time mingling, sipping on champagne, and reporting back to OPS hourly. Kensi has chosen not to be within ten feet of her partner all night.

She walks out of the ballroom and onto a balcony that overlooks the city. The Hollywood sign is miles away and seems so tiny against the city backdrop. The city lights make Los Angeles sparkle to the junior agent.

"Alright, Kens. We're going to talk," she suddenly hears from behind her and she whips around to see Deeks closing the balcony doorway. With the rarely seen deadly serious look in the detective's eyes, Deeks asks, " You've been avoiding me all night. Is this about this morning?"

"Fine. What the hell was up you flirting with those women after you….held my hand this morning?" Kensi exclaims.

Deeks opens his mouth in shock while his quickly dart between Kensi and the doorway. "That?! You're mad about that?"

"Deeks, if you were just doing it to screw with me-"

Deeks exclaims, "No! Especially since…." He drops his voice and sighs, "Especially since it was something I've wanted to do ever since I met you. With those damn nukes missing…..life's too short, Kens, and I want to spend every second of everyday just being with you even if it means just holding your hand."

Kensi takes a step to where she's inches away from Deeks. She closes her eyes and thinks about how sitting in the SUV had felt- his hands had been so warm, comforting, loving and so much more. Yes, if OPS hadn't had called, she probably would have turned to him and tried to kiss him.

_That wasn't the first time we had been erupted. There has been so many times that I've been alone with Deeks and I didn't want it to end. _

The first that comes to mind is how on the last night of their married couple op, Deeks had unconsciously put his arms around her waist while sleeping. She had loved it to where she wanted to see if he would do the next night, which never came. It took her a month to get used sleeping alone.

A month of sleepless night because of one perfect, quickly interrupted moment.

And there were many, many others.

"Kensi?"

She's back to reality and staring into those ocean blue eyes of his. _Those stupidly breathtaking eyes of his….. _she curses in her mind.

"Kensi, I love you."

Something changes in the agent and she doesn't know what it is. It's either the walls that she built up after losing her fiancée finally coming down or the three glasses of champagne kicking in- whatever it is, it makes Kensi enlace her fingers into his and whisper, " I love you too. Next time we're out like this undercover, don't be such a convincing flirt with other women."

"I was just putting up an act. Two of our coworkers are here," Deeks whispers before his lips gently press against hers.

"Well, be less convincing next time," Kensi whispers in between a kiss.

Deeks moves to kiss Kensi on the neck. "Less convincing….hmmm….how am I going to do such a thing?"

Kensi smirks before her eyes fall on the door. " Ah, Deeks….um….we really….really…work. We have to work."

"Ok." Deeks grins and says, " We'll continue this later. " He holds out his hand and adds, "We're a couple that's under cover as each other's date. We might as well make it look convincing."

Kensi takes his hand and replies happily, "Alright, let's do it."

**The End**


End file.
